Orphanage Visit

Five days after Bria was placed into our arms, we journeyed back to the orphanage.  The orphanage was a  4 hour (each way) trip to and from Maoming.  We wanted to know all we could about her life prior to her coming to be a part of our family.  We felt this would give us great insight to help see where Bria lived for the first part of her life.  All week we debated rather this was going to help or harm Bria. After all, this was day 5 with Bria and we had made so much progress.  She went from being a knumb emotionless person who really didn't care for me much, to a sweet baby filled with laughter who now liked me.  Honestly, I knew it was going to be a grueling day just from the standpoint of travel.  I also knew it would be very emotional for her and most likely for us.  I was very nervous about how she would react to going back to all she had ever known of life.  Still, we felt the benefits outweighed the risks so to speak.

We left the Garden Hotel in Guangzhou at 6:30am on Friday morning to begin our trip to Maoming.  When we were about 1.5 hours away from Maoming, the bus driver stopped to allow for a "potty break".  We all ventured in to the service station/rest stop type area.  When we came back out, the bus was no longer parked in the same spot.  The driver had discovered that one of the bus tires had a leak and was going flat, so he had the bus pulled over to the side of the service station to repair the flat as all 20 members of our travel group looked on.  After that small technical difficulty was ironed out, we journeyed on to our destination.

As we began to enter Maoming, it was incredible.  There were people and motorbikes and bicycles and automobiles everywhere!  Mind you it was lunch time "rush hour" for them, but I was still amazed by the sheer volume of motorbikes & people.  I held my breath on numerous occasions for fear that our bus was going to cause severe bodily harm to a motorbike passenger or two.  Thankfully we arrived to the orphanage without any incidents with either motorbikes or other automobiles.

As we approached the Social Welfare Institute of Maoming City, I was struck by the realization that we didn't seem to be in a really "desirable" section of the city anymore.  Things seemed a little dirtier and a little more "run down".  There is also construction underway at the orphanage, so that added to the less desirable-ness of the surroundings.  Pictures I took of the orphanage and the pictures I received made it look good.  The reality was not as pretty as the pictures. I was a little shocked as I thought this was a nicer orphanage.  Although it was a better orphanage  in China but it wasn't what I would consider nice (compared to what we would consider nice in the US)..

The picture did not show justice as the playground looks bright & colorful.  It was actually rusted equipment that did not look suitable for kids to pay on.

As we unloaded from the bus, one of the preschool teachers and a couple of girls we had requested to see on behalf of their forever families came out to greet us.  My goal for the orphanage visit was to stay near Bria.  I did not expect she would want me to hold her or even hold her hand during this visit, I simply wanted to stay close by her.  I understood the importance of allowing her a proper farewell.

We were only allowed to visit certain areas of the orphanage.  The first room to visit was the toddler room where Bria played.  I recognized the room from the pictures we received.  There wasn't alot of toys.  They had a plastic playhouse, rocky horse and a few other toys.  There was a sweet lady from the half way to the sky program (similar to a therapist).  I could tell this nanny loved Bria so much!  I had also seen this lady in many pictures with Bria.  I knew she gave Bria numerous bottles and gently loved her until I could get there.  Bria reached for her and played with her.  I could tell Bria thought alot for this lady.  I hugged her and told her Thank You!  She did not speak English but I was hoping she understood my gratitude for her!  After all, Bria had to be feed by a dropper when she was abandoned.  I knew this lady was part of her speedy recovery!  When I got Bria back she screamed and begged to go back to this lady!  She took her back.  At this point, my heart was breaking.  I was over whelmed by simply seeing the conditions of the orphanage and seeing Bria was upset & confused.  I felt emotionally drained and I couldn't imagine how she must feel.  Not to mention it was beyond hot.  I couldn't imagine having to stay in this place day in & day out as I was pouring with sweat.  We also got a chance to meet Bria's foster mom.  She was allowed to stay with a foster mom for about 4 months to help prepare her for life outside of a orphanage.  The foster mom came in quickly.  She only stayed about 5 minutes.  Bria went to her.  She gave her a hug and then the foster mom gave her back to me.  She didn't seem to upset. We also got to see how the children had lunch.  They sat the children around a table and served them rice and chicken.  The chicken looked more like chicken fat.  It was so heart breaking to see Bria and her little friends eating.  I was so glad this would be the last meal they would have to eat at the orphanage.

The next room we visited is where the babies slept.  This room broke my heart.  These babies was laying in beds with a piece of wood for a mattress.  Again, it was so hot!!!  I just wanted to pick these babies up and love them.  When I started to walk around and play with the babies a Nannie quickly told me NO.  I wish I could have brought them back with me.  It was so sad to know we would be leaving and they would have to stay.  As we entered the room, one of the first things that struck me was this rhythmic banging noise.  Then I looked around and discovered that it was one of the children in the crib banging his leg up and down; a self-soothing mechanism.  I then discovered the reason it was so loud was because the crib was a metal frame with a thin sheet of blanket-wrapped wood for the mattress.  I was honestly overcome with so many emotions in this room.  It was heart wrenching to see these children.  I wanted to go around and grab up every child and rock and hug them.  But at the same time I knew I couldn't because I had my own child in my arms, and I was trying to help guide and comfort her through this experience.

This is a piece of wood this babies are laying on for a mattress!

Lastly, we were taken to the spot where Bria was discovered.  It was the original gate to the orphanage property.  Now this gate stays shut and locked because of the construction on the property, and the orphanage is accessed by a small gravel drive on the side of the property.  Anyway, this original gate is right off of a road.  The gate is maybe 1 ft from the road and I think it's crazy that people didn't run over her or how could people pass by knowing there is a new born on the side of the road..  She most likely was left a mere couple feet from the road.  It also seems that  she was left at night or very early morning as she was discovered in a paper box wrapped in a blanket.  I wish I knew the whole story, why was she left?  I wondered if her mother hid out & watched to make sure she stayed safe until someone found Bria. 

When we left the orphanage director met us for lunch.  I felt so guilty having a nice lunch after what I had just witnessed.  We will never forget the meal as we were served a great meal with the exception of a chicken head along with cow stomach soup!!!  There was a young teenage girl who waited on us.  She didn't speak English either.  She kept  asking me questions in Chinese and I couldn't understand her.  Finally, she got her cell phone out and asked for a picture, I nodded yes.  She took a picture of Bria and me with her cell phone.  She asked if she could hold Bria and I said Yes.  She looked so sweetly at Bria.  Of course I couldn't understand anything she was saying to Bria.  My mind wondered, could this be Bria's mother (pretty slim chance).  Maybe she had left behind a baby and her mind drifted off for a bit while Bria was in her arms.  Maybe she was a typical girl who just thought Bria was cute and wanted to hold her.

We were emotionally drained & exhausted as we started back to our hotel.  About 1 hour into our journey back to the hotel, the head lights on the van went out.  It was so dark.  The roads in China and how people drive are totally different in China as they are in the US.  The driver turned on the inside lights hoping others would see our bus and not hit us.  Each time I looked out the window I was scared to death.  The driver was not slowing down AT ALL!  When we looked out the windows, all we would see was pitch black darkness.  There was about 10 minutes of silence where I think everyone on the bus was praying for God's safety. I continued to pray, God you brought us here with our children, please protect us and not let our journey end here.  As soon as we got closer to the city, there was more street lights.  I was thrilled once our van pulled up to our Hotel. 

This day was the most exhausting day of our trip (with the exception of the flight).  Their was so many raw emotions and each child was filled with emotions too.  None of the children begged to stay at the orphanage, they said this never happened.  I think the kids at first was a bit confused and maybe thought we may be carrying them back.  Many had formed a bond with atleast 1 person (Nannie, foster mom, etc).  When we got back to the orphanage, we wasn't sure this was the best idea to go.  Now, looking back, I'm so glad we done it.  This day was filled with memories I will cherish forever.  So many little things I will be able to share with Bria about her orphanage journey.  I"m so thankful for the families who we traveled with.  I will always remember what we all faced together and appreciate the 2 weeks we shared together on our adoption journey.